Hey Queens oh my god where do I start?! I've been so down and out because one minute I was planning the book signing of my dreams and the next minute everything came crashing down. I was so excited for august 7th to get here, that was the day of the book signing! so of course I know you are wondering what happened and how did everything twist so fast?! lol well I'm here to spill the tea.
so yes I was planning the book signing I was on the phone with my event planner everyday and I was using all my Brain power to manifest the money that I needed to raise. I was on the roll and it was so fun! people were signing up to become a sponsor and I was trying to figure out more ways to get sponsors so that I could have the building paid off and the event was going to become successful.
well at the time of all of this a few months prior I had decided to go holistic with my health. see in 2017 I was diagnosed with bipolar because I had a very traumatic manic episode. and It happened so fast and out of no where I wasn't sure what caused it and if I was really dealing with a life time issue or was it a one time thing? well in ramadan 2020 I decided to stop taking the medications they had prescribed for me and I just was taking herbs everyday and trying to stick to a regular routine. well so much started happening this year that I was trying to process, as I was going along with planning my book signing event. I had to move on a whim and barely had any place to stay, I thought I met my twin Flame ! haha weird story but it messed with my head. and next thing you know I find myself in different realities in my mind. I couldn't control it, I stopped sleeping and my mind was using up so much brain power that it was bound to crash. I started craving marijuanna something I quit indulging in 2017 and I even convinced myself that it was better than the medications I was taking, which honestly they are about the same. but yea so I was beginning to slowly find myself drowning in my mind. I also decided to dive back into doing music, something I also Quit in 2017 but I had a friend recommend that I do it as entertainment for the book signing.
So I started to over indulge in music again as well not just my music my all other types of music, I felt myself changing automatically but I continued on because it was starting to become easier to do these things as I went along. I guess I never got clarity on all of these things I let go so quickly, I think I was more so scared into the decision.
this went onfor a month or so and I began to feel delusional kind of like how I felt in 2017 when I first experienced my mental break! I knew that I had to seek out help and find shelter and I also knew for the safety of myself I needed to put everything on pause and sacrifice all that my soul was trying to drag along into my ascension.
Me dropping makeup For Your Soul has definitely created me into a new woman a better woman and so satan tried his hardest to have me step into the new world with the same old energy. luckily Allah and his angels are always on my side Mashallah so I was able to regain strength and regain clarity and the truth.
truth is I am challenged with mental health. does that make me less smart ? nope it just means my brain power operate differently and it seems like when ever my brain feels potential love it goes haywire. truth is Music doesn't make me a better person and it takes me further away from Allah and so for me to become my higher self I had to sacrifice all parts of it for the sake of Allah.
And truth is Im so happy I was able to experience that and that it gave me clarity. for weeks I was so embarrassed, sad and felt let down. but. now I see the light! august 27th I will be in Detroit michigan attending the Miss Muslimah Pageant! Inshallah and I will be taking with me all the merchandise I ordered for the book signing. see I was planning for the book signing so soon but Allah was allowing me to plan but it wasn't for the book signing it was for this event. everything is in alignment I have business cards, my website is up, I have merchandise and even have an outfit to wear that's going to be stunning! look how Allah works?! he is so merciful! inshallah the book signing will be January 6 or around that time and it will be pure and fun! I will be a woman of pure light and ready to give y'all my pure energy to heal! I will walk into 2021 being okay with mental health and personal sacrifice!
and this is what MAKEUP FOR YOUR SOUL is all about! self development and being the best Queen you can be! I sacrificed for the new year to and you should too! until next time Queens